What could have been
by aivana
Summary: B/K one-shot taking place during the season 6 episode, "Breast side up".


_A/N: "Breast side up" was always one of my favourite B/K episodes although they were not together at that time. In the series they decided to do the honorable thing that evening, but what if they didn't? :) Here is my take on it._

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Kelly plopped herself on the sofa in the living room of Walsh house. It has been months since she was there, not to mention the fact that she was there with him alone. Brandon followed closely placing the plates with turkey sandwiches on the coffee table and making himself comfortable next to Kelly. The horror marathon night was already in full speed. Despite trying to focus on the movie she couldn't help to glance sideways several times to see Brandon who was stuffing himself with one of the sandwiches he made.

"What?" He asked confused when he catched one of her glances.

"I can't believe you are stuffing yourself with more turkey after all we ate today." She grinned watching him as he placed the plate with the sandwich in his lap.

"I told you it's a Walsh tradition." He grinned picking up a slice of turkey from his sandwich and waving it in front of her face. "Come on, Kel! You know you want to."

She laughed but opened her mouth letting him feed her with the slice of turkey.

"Good girl." He laughed returning back to his plate.

She turned back to watch the TV, but her thoughts were elsewhere. Boy, did she missed this. She knew it was her own fault she lost it all. Their friendship was somehow flaked, they were still friends but there was this invisible wall between them. The day Andrea left Los Angeles, she made her choice and it was neither Brandon nor Dylan, she choose herself. It seemed like the right choice and in many aspects it was the right choice for all of them. With each passing day she still wondered what could have been if she said yes to him while they were sitting on the bench on the beach the soft black velvet box in her hands, the rays of sunshine falling onto the princess cut diamond engagement ring that was staring at her there. Would they have gone through with the wedding? They were both still so young. She hated thinking about it, what was the point in torturing herself anyway? She hurt him with her choice. She knew it moment she placed the black velvet box in his opened palm at the parking lot of Peach Pit, and she was not sure if she was ever able to fix it. This day might have been the first step in the right direction to get their friendship back on track although all the mixed signals he was sending her were making her confused. Friends, that's all they were ever going to be. She had her chance and she missed it.

"Earth to Kelly." She saw his hand waving in front of her eyes.

"Yeah?" She asked returning back to reality.

"I was asking you if you're going to eat that thing." Brandon pointed to the untouched plate sitting on the coffee table.

"Yes, I will." She leaned forward taking the plate from the table and placing it in her lap staring at the food in front of her. She really did not feel like eating, this huge lump building up in her throat, but she had to occupy herself with something.

Brandon noticed her hesitation. "Are you alright? You seemed to be million miles away just a moment ago."

"I'm fine." She took a bite from her sandwich thoughtfully chewing it. What would be the point of telling him about her feelings, doubts and insecurities? She tried it before and he shut her out anyway, now they moved at least to a point where they could have a meaningful conversation and spend time together. She didn't want to lose it, lose their friendship. There were also two other people added to the quotation, Brandon loved Susan and she loved Colin. But was it really love she felt for Colin? Or did she just jump in the first open arms in order to heal her wounds from the whole Brandon vs. Dylan debacle? She shook her head trying to stop the thoughts. She loved Colin, Brandon loved Susan and friends is all they are ever going to be, end of story.

Brandon observed her closely after her last words, she seemed to get lost in her thoughts once again. "You don't seem to be fine." He commented his eyes still glued to her, neither of them paid any attention to the horror movie in TV.

She wanted to slap herself, she knew that Brandon could read her way too easily. "I'm just tired that's all, it's been a long day." She smiled softly playing with the chips on her plate.

"We can skip the movie and head to bed." Brandon offered with a slight hint of disappointment in his voice.

"No, we wanted to watch a movie. I'm a big girl, I can manage to watch it till the end." She grinned cheekily.

"Alright, Kel." He said softly and then there was this look, she noticed it before but didn't really attribute any importance to it. It was like he was trying to read through her. She smiled and turned her attention to the TV once again. Seconds later she felt his arm resting on the sofa right behind her touching her accidentally. She took a deep breath feeling the butterflies in her stomach, she quickly took another bite of her sandwich before he could notice anything.

Brandon couldn't help but smile inwardly. She was too cute that day, there was this tiny part of him that enjoyed all this confusion he was causing her. The other part was feeling guilty, he made up his mind before and all her behavior that day was pointing that her mind and heart made their decision too, yet he couldn't help but torture her for a tiny bit longer. He moved his hand down the sofa and softly wrapped it around her shoulders watching her take another sharp breath while stubbornly staring on the nearly untouched plate of food.

"Why are you doing this Brandon?" She asked quietly.

"Doing what?" He asked pretending confusion.

"Sending me mixed signals, making me confused." She looked at him and he could see the sadness in her eyes. It was obvious he underestimated her feelings and caused her pain instead.

"This was probably not a smart idea." She said quietly. "I think it would be for the best if I leave now…" She stood up before he could really react and headed outside the room.

"Kelly, wait." He called after her as soon as he realize what was going on. "You can't just leave now." He continued softly touching her arm and turning her around to face him.

"Yes, I can." She said quietly yet powerfully looking down at the floor, hoping that the tears she felt building up in her eyes will not start to fall down her cheeks. She wouldn't allow him the pleasure to see her like that, again. He was just playing with her the whole day, it was now crystal clear.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I never meant to hurt you." Brandon said carefully slipping his arms around her.

It was the very same moment she lost control of her emotions and started sobbing into his chest uncontrollably.

Brandon pulled her a bit tighter to him stroking her back and quietly cursing himself for the pain he caused her. "I'm sorry." He repeated once again before he softly pulled her away from him just enough to be able to place a kiss on her lips.

Surprised by his actions Kelly gave in for a few seconds before her brain evaluated the situation and she broke the kiss pushing Brandon away from her. "Brandon, we can't." She said quietly wrapping her arms around herself.

Brandon blinked a few times surprised by her actions. "Yes, we can." He said softly taking a step in her direction again.

Watching him she backed a few steps creating a safe distance between them again. "No, we can't. You have Susan, I've Colin. We shouldn't, we can't…" She rambled shaking her head.

"Kelly, I love you." Brandon blurted out his baby blue eyes glued to her.

Her eyes grew big and her mind went wild. Did he really said that? Or was it just her imagination playing games with her, she wanted to hear those words from him for so long.

Just to confirm his words Brandon carefully took a few steps, cutting the distance between the two of them he took her into his arms again, she let him. "I love you, Kelly." He repeated himself staring into her eyes. "You broke my heart when you choose yourself, but I think I deserved that. I haven't made the choice any easier for you." He sighed holding her close to him. "When Dylan invited you for the trip around the world I panicked. I was scared that I'll lose you, so I made this dumb decision to make you choose, I should have never done that." He ran his fingers through her short blond hair.

"I wanted to choose you, I really did." Kelly said quietly looking into his eyes. "For once I thought I would put someone else first. That it was the right thing to do, to put your and Dylan's friendship first and let you both go. I was wrong, Brandon." She bit her lip. "I choose wrong that day, it should have been you. I love you." She pressed her lips against his, as the seconds ran she felt the kiss deepen and Brandon's hands rubbing all of her skin they could reach slowly finding its way under her shirt. Boy, did it felt right and did she miss it. She knew that in the next days there will be a lot of explaining to do, there will be people who will be hurt, people who will be judging them, but at that very moment it did not matter, all that mattered were his lips on hers, his hands roaming her body and his words healing her soul. All she could do was smile as he was slowly backing her in the direction of the stairs that led to his room the food and horror movie long forgotten. She had him back, not only as a friend but also as a boyfriend, everything felt right again.


End file.
